Victory
As I step on the field preparing for war
I think about the game I am about to play
I think of it as a pleasure, not as a chore
We prepare for these games everyday
I worked hard for this moment, can’t let it go
The whistle blows and the battle is on
Most of the game, the scoring was low
Needed a touchdown soon, we threw it to Sean
He caught the ball and ran it to the end zone
This touchdown would be the winning one
Our team celebrated in a triumphant tone
The bus ride back, we shared jokes and had some fun
The feeling of victory is oh so sweet
The greatest thrill that can never be beat
4 comments:
Man
Nuts poem. I really liked your comparison to "war" and the first stanza. The last two lines are kind of weak and it's not really a twist. I love the part about Sean. We'd probably throw it to Jeremy tho haha. Good Job!
cool sonnet. need a alot of work to be better than mine. liked the story and then the climax with the winning touchdown. have lots of meaning with the end part. try include some kind of feeling when you guys were down or metaphor. k.
good sonnet kainoa!!! it needs some work on a few lines like in the second stanza but other than that it is good. probably because I helped you write it.
brah, a creepster commented me!!!!!
nice sonnet. good job. i agree with james the war part of the peom was nutz. but you should have included some metaphors or similies in your poem to make it better
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